new buttons for my collection :) De Kringwinkel is such a treasure box if you're willing to spend some time there!
scarf in progress, the colours are nicer in daylight, it are stripes in blue-greenish wool, a thick one for the winter..
I’m moving. For a month already, I am somewhere in between places.
So, I started to think about the concept moving and the terms in which we think and speak about it.
English uses really dramatic concepts, living somewhere and then moving. Live at/ in is so existential, to be at a certain place means to be, to exist, as if place were the only determining factor to exist. Moving is indeed moving. Moving moves people, nothing stays the same, it is inherently emotional. That is probably what I like about the English version, it is so vague and all inclusive.
My mothertongue uses umziehen for it. But Umziehen is also what you do every day when changing your clothes. It sounds so ridiculously simple and casual, umziehen. What I do like in it is the connotation that ziehen carries, it means to pull; trekken. Since I am 16, I believe that there are some kinds of forces that pull you around from one place to the other. You never really know what your next destination is, how long your stay is going to be and who is going to be your travel mate and neighbour.
The german word for train - Zug - stems from the same word. I like the thought of there being some invisible rails (Schienen) throughout the universe which will eventually lead us to wherever we are going. All the movings and movements I made in the last 3 years were really random, I never knew where I would land and if it would be good there. Something just drew me here and there and on and on. And somehow, in the end, things turn out to be fine. But it can be incredibly hard to trust in rails you cannot see.
Dutch then has a really different approach to the whole thing: moving is verhuizen. If you’d try to dissect the word and translate it literally, you’d get something like “de-housing” or “re-housing”. Dutch probably has the most rational and to the point word for it. It directly points at the fact that you are leaving one house and move into another. Sometimes verhuizen evokes a picture in me of people taking their houses along, like snails. That way of thinking makes moving less dramatic, it somehow implies that what your house, your home, is whatever you can carry with you.
If I count all the places I have lived at for at least a month in the last three years, that would make… (counting… Brussels, St. Genesius Rhode, Kirchdorf, Antwerp Lozana, Mortsel, Antwerp South, Antwerp North, Deurne South, soon Borgerhout) 9 different places. That is a lot. I love and hate all of these places to some extent, but right now, the only place I am thinking of is the next station coming up, the conductor has already announced “arriving shortly” and I am collecting all me internal and external belongings and trying not to forget anything.
I don’t know what language points at it, the fact that people more or less frequently change the places they store their things at, cook, love and sleep, most efficiently.
I do know that moving is very moving to me and that I do need some rest and a base of my own very soon.
all the modern things like cars and such have always existed they've just been waiting in a mountain for the right moment listening to the irritating noises of dinosaurs and people dabbling outside all the modern things have always existed they've just been waiting to come out and multiply and take over it's their turn now...
the song has been haunting me in my head for quite a while now. I just like to picture it (in a lego kind of way)
summer multiplies my usual amount of thinking by 21. emptyness again.
It's hard for me to do nothing at all, still have the feeling that I haven't arrived anywhere and that actually I'm not going anywhere. I'm feeling blury and my perceptions and feelings are blury.
Paris has been great, I love the city the people we met the language the heat.. most of all I love the persons I am with
London started off lonely. its name suggested it already.. I realised that I cannot travel alone. First I thought it were the city I couldn't stand but no, London is nice. It's being lost and lonely that makes me doubt the myself and the world. The label "home" has to undergo a shift in meaning: home is an abstract place with people around who understand me, not necessarily know me yet, but people who believe in opening their hearts and minds as I do. Only with the knowledge that I can come back to people like that I am able to experience alone not only as lonely
Antwerp was sundayrelaxing and mondaystress. I was glad to leave the city for a while. and I miss it already. Lately it carried too much of a connotation of meanman, stress and disruption, the taste of its name got bitter on my tongue. But Antwerp in summer is great... Summer in the city
Tuesday was Trainday. left at 5.45 am and arrived at 6.30 pm. I spent the time sleeping. It is such a special kind of sleep.. knowing that you are being carried from your one life into your other, seeing and feeling that movement only in tatters... I like my traindays.. yes they are so annoying but I would not want to miss them
Austria now. It's so green. During the year my eyes forget how many shades of green they can perceive.. summer after summer they learn it again. I'm meeting old friends enjoying my family my cat books under the walnuttree storms and stars.
but my head has not yet completely arrived
...though I've stopped thinking that that is actually something I should still be waiting for ;)
I want to build a lego town. like I used to in younger summers. and build all the modern things and the dinoaurs and figure out how to sensibly unify them.. break down the boarders and be a child of summer...